What exactly is self care?

Self-care is, “The voluntary regulation of one’s own human functioning and development as necessary to maintaining life, health and well-being, as well as ongoing activity and an area of competence to be developed.” This definition was provided to VRL by Dr. LG Shanklin Flowers on the Tuesday, June 23 web clinic: On Matterness: Self-Care and Leadership. If you missed it, you need to go back and watch!

She shared that self-care is a revolutionary act, but that we often view this act as ‘indulgence’ and feel too guilty to take more time to invest in our well-being and personal growth. As women, we have been socialized with a very reduced role of what our leadership looks like. As a result, we have become trained to fight for others but not ourselves. We may often find ourselves apologizing for our ambition rather than owning it, and telling stories about ourselves as accidental leaders rather than intentional leaders. Sound familiar? What will ultimately change this deficient self-care paradigm is shifting our engagement towards learning how to put ourselves in the center of our own lives.

Here are Dr LG Shanklin-Flowers’ Top 5 Self-Care tips:

1. Be the love of your own life

Unwavering self-care beings with self-love. Put yourself back in the center of your own life. Treat ourselves the way we regard other people and dismiss negative thoughts towards ourselves.

Self Care - You are good, good, goodly good.

2. Practice telling stories with you as the intentional leader

Change the narrative. Begin telling stories of us being in charge, as opposed to being the ‘accidental’ leader.

Self Care - Well being is a perspective and behavior we can cultivate.

3. Make a list of your negative ‘mind tapes’ that run on continuous loop

Bring consciousness to the way you think about yourself and attribute where this voice is coming from. You don’t want to continue to rehearse those messages. Practice not criticizing ourselves and spend a full day being entirely pleased with ourselves.

Self Care - The only thing wrong with us is self criticism.

4. Imagine yourself as a newborn

What would you say to yourself? Step in the right direction of valuing ourselves.

Being central in our own lives is a birthright

5. Surround yourself with a community of support

Create and seek out networks that act out as your very own ‘cheering section’.

It is hopeful that we continue to care for ourselves and the world so deeply

Sound off, VRL Nation! What do you do to maintain your wellbeing? What do you do for self care?

Want more on self care?

Join us in Minneapolis for an exclusive live training with Dr. LG. Register below.